How did we get here?!

This week has been a huge one. Not for any huge event, not a lot going on ... other than we have entered womanhood. And I find myself taken back. Almost holding my breath. Not because my daughter is growing up, not because she is becoming a young woman. But because I fear I have not taken quiet moments to embed in my memory the journey that took us here.

I had Aidin when I was seventeen. Far from being grown up myself. Thinking back on our twelve years together, I realize that I have no idea how we got here. How we survived life, survived each other, grown up together? I can recall exactly how we physically got here. Yet I can not comprehend how I at thirty have a daughter who is now entering womanhood?

At thirty I feel like I am finally in a place where I am beginning to understand who I am, a place where I am coming into my own! So as I start that journey for myself I get to also "tag" along on her journey. Because, although I would never change a moment of my life; having a child and still being one myself has prolonged my journey for self discovery.

It's quite an exciting time in her life, and mine. The ups and downs we'll share. The dreams that let her soar and the heart breaks that leave her crying the night away! I'm not too sure what other mothers are like. (I consider myself in a different class because I was so young when I took on this adult only role.) But I don't spend my time dreaming and desiring what, how, and who my daughters will be/become. I love the journey of development instead. Which I can give my parents the credit for. They never forced on me their expectations of what I should be, how or who I should be. They encouraged me to become me. The best me I could be. And maybe that's why I have no idea how Aidin and I ended up here. Maybe because I wasn't working her along to a certain something. There was no forcing, no guilting, no enticing. Only the journey of becoming.

I sit back in amazement of where we are, in life as a whole, but also individually. I watch my tom boy try out different make-up techniques. Watch as she tries to cling onto everything tough and strong as she dabbles in things that are "girly"! I look forward to these years. We'll have moments I'm sure. But she starts now to become a young woman and I get to be there with and for her through it all.

I am reminded of a few things my mother always said to me. (And my mom and I did not have such a close relationship in my teen years.) She would say " raising daughters is hard. They hate you a lot of the time. And sometimes it feels like you're losing them. And you don't always get that friend relationship as they grow. They need a mom more than a friend anyway. But when they do grow up and are adults you get a best friend and that's the best gift of all."

So I'm sure we'll have days and maybe even weeks when Aidin hates me. But this journey of womanhood is the stepping stones that get us the gift we were destined to have!